Oh how I missed you for all this time. It has been years since we have seen each other properly so really this should be a joyous occasion, instead you have to make this reunion a difficult one.
I realise that maybe you are punishing me for taking you away for so long, but what was I supposed to do, get pregnant! Pregnancy really wasn’t an option in my younger years. I needed security and convinece. You also made life difficult back then, paining me with headaches and cramps, not to mention been the heaviest you could possibly make it and not quitting for 2 weeks straight sometimes; hence why I thought things would be better if you wasn’t around.
I slowly started to realise that I missed you; that you were actually there for a purpose and reason. The Pill and the contraception injections were not the best decisions I have made in life so surely you can let me off with some of the blame, I think I felt worse on those then I actually did in your company. At least you actually left me a lone for a little while each month unlike the synthetic hormones messing up my body on a daily basis. I want now to be more natural and have you around.
Now that you are back in my life there are one or two favours in which I would like to ask of you. These of course are down to you, but I would really appreciate you taking the time to consider the affects it would have on our relationship and whether or not we will start a beautiful friendship or not.
1. Please can you tell the headaches to make a swift exit. One day a month, yeah I can deal with that, but 3-4 days straight, seriously! At least make a compromise and allow the painkillers to actually serve a purpose.
2. I like being in a happy mood, me and mood swings do not mix well; not to mention the sudden outbursts of tears and fear of the world burning down around me. Please make not only our time together but the time I spend with others whilst you’re around each month a happy occasion.
3. Can you at least at times try to be on time. It isn’t really much to ask, as soon as you are at least an hour later than usual I have this sudden panic that you aren’t going to show and that would be a shame, wouldn’t it.
4. One more request; now that your monthly visits are around 4 days long and not so tedious at the moment please can we keep the agreement that we stick to this plan. Don’t get me wrong I like having you around now but I must admit I am pleased when you decide to leave.
Most of all I want to say thank you for deciding to come back. I know years ago I messed up but I am older now and a lot wiser. I have found that the natural way is best way, so please be reassured that I won’t be turning to those nasty birth controls anymore, you’re here to stay. Let’s make this partnership a great one.
P.S. If you could also send me a complimentary box of chocolates each month that would be a bonus.