Top 5 things I loved about Camden! 

Wow! That’s all I have to say to describe Camden. I had been to London previously for a variety of different reasons but I never managed to venture into Camden. It has been somewhere in which I have wanted to see for a while now so when I got the opportunity over the weekend I snapped up the chance to finally see this place that I had heard so many amazing things about.

Top 5 things I loved about Camden:

1. Atmosphere: The atmosphere within Camden is electric, the amazing variance of culture and different types of music pumping out speakers from every different direction is amazing. From Hip Hop to Gothic there is something here for everyone to experience and enjoy. The mix of social groups is so awesome to see from Hippies to Mods everyone just mingles in with each other so naturally in Camden. There is something about this place that really brings everyone together I loved the feeling you get from been in amongst all this array of difference but all feeling at one.

2. Chin Chins hot chocolate: I discovered this place through Instagram and I wasn’t disappointment. From the moment you step into Chin Chin Labs you are welcomed with warmth. It is such a friendly welcoming place to have a pit stop in between the madness of shopping. They also do the most amazing hot chocolate I have ever tasted in my life; if you come across this little café of heaven make sure you drop in and try their hot chocolate with marshmallow fluff you will not be disappointed.


3. Food: This was something in which I spent more time focused on. There was such an array of different street food vendors you are left spoilt for choice. From Chinese, Indian to churros and halloumi fries there is something here to suite every taste. As we didn’t have much time and were going out in the evening for a meal we opted for Pizza which I have to say tasted delicious and was the perfect lunch for those short for time.

4. Shopping: Never in my life have I been to a market that is so full with an array of different things to suite so many different tastes. From vintage antiques to even boutique clothing stalls there is something here for everyone. I think you would be pretty fussy to come here and not find something in which you would not like to buy. I loved the array of new age and gothic stalls in which there was here. I must admit after a while some of the stalls are very similar in what they sell but it is so exciting exploring Camden market going round each corner not knowing what you are going to find next. You could spend a fortune here if you are not careful so if you are on a budget I would suggest maybe leaving the credit card at home.

5. Amazing buildings: As soon as you exit the underground you are greeted with some of the most amazing painted buildings within London. A lot of the shops along the way to Camden market look intriguing from the colourful and unique designs in which they have on the shop fronts. Even some of the restaurants have the most amazing statues and artwork making you even more curious of what is inside. My favourite had to be a new age shop in which we passed on our way to Camden lock, the colours and design are so striking it really draws you in. I also loved the Zulu warrior stature in which overlooks Camden market belonging to a African themed restaurant, very impressive.

I would definitely recommend Camden to everyone. No matter your interests or what you are into there will be something at Camden for you. We spent a couple of hours within Camden but I felt I could easily spend a whole weekend there and still not cover everything to see. Every turn you take there seems to be something different to see or experience. I cannot wait to go back, I loved it!

 

B x

Bucket list update. The Lion King!

After many years of waiting I finally got to tick one thing from my bucket list and went to see The Lion King at London’s Lyceum theatre.

 

I was not left disappointed, The Lion King is a show full of colour and song and throughout it really brought back my childhood memories of watching one of my favourite Disney films. From start to finish there has been a lot of thought put into detail, I was impressed with the masks in which the actors wear making them been able to cover their faces mechanically when they need to for more dramatic scenes. The wildebeest scene is also very impressive, it also managed to bring a tear to my eye when Mufasa falls from the cliff face.

 

Overall I would rate the Lion King 4 out of 5. The costumes and set are very impressive but at times I thought that it was a bit to pantomime. I love the Lion King show within the Animal Kingdom park in Florida so my expectations were kind of up there with that a bit, if I had to pick between the two I would say the show in Animal Kingdom does top the London show unfortunately, however I would definitely recommend the London show. Also the merchandise they had on offer was to die for, they had such sweet cuddly toys and items to choose from for a lasting memory to take home.

 

One ticked off my bucket list, forty nine to go!

 

B x

2017 life plan!

I am stuck. Stuck in a dead end in which I cannot for the life of me seem to get out of. Every day I wake with this notion of change and making changes within my life in order to make me happy; it never happens. Instead I go through each day just as miserable as the one before it and not motivated enough or maybe even brave enough to go out and make the changes in which I need in order to be where I want to be within life.

 

There are aspects in my life in which I am so happy with; my love life for example, finally I have found someone who I adore and love more than love itself if that makes sense. He still fills me with butterflies every time I see him, yes we have our off days and we argue but who doesn’t, I wouldn’t trade him in for all the riches in the world he means that much to me.  I also have the most amazing family in which a person could ask for; my parents support me and still stick by me even though I am 26 years old they are always there for me when I need them. Growing up you always take your parents for granted and never really understand why they moan and groan at you all the time with their words of wisdom but as you get older and experience how hard life truly is you look back on those words and actually think they were right the whole time and how you wish you had listened to them and appreciated them a little bit sooner.

 

If I am honest ten years ago I thought life would be totally different to what it actually is now, my life plan hasn’t exactly headed in the direction in which I hoped. I had this vision of marriage and my own home by the time I was 30. Growing up I always wanted to work for myself and have a business doing something in which I loved, that hasn’t mapped out the way I would of liked. Instead of having my own business I am stuck working in a job in which I detest. Getting up each morning doing the same mundane commute to sit in the same chair in the same office doing mundane tasks for mundane people isn’t exactly my idea of an awarding career. When you have to literally drag yourself out of bed each morning with no motivation and go home at the end of each day depressed then you know there is something not quite right.

 

I think that my life has become so out of control over the past two years and I have become so stuck in my ways of mundane routine this has also had an effect on my overall general health. Sitting down for eight hours a day isn’t the best for your figure, you tend to binge on any food going because it is the only exciting thing of the day in which you have experienced. Yep slowly but surely alongside help from hormonal birth control 5 stone has crept its way onto my waistline. Been lazy at work also has the tendency to make you lazy after work. You become so bored and exhausted with been bored all day long the last thing you want to do when you get home is exercise. Your life turns into one never ending mundane lazy vicious circle in which you are stuck in and cannot escape.

 

So I have decided I need an action plan. Something to focus on throughout the rest of 2017 and what I want to achieve ready for 2018. I need that motivation to push myself further and actually get what I want out of life so here it goes, my goals for the rest of 2017 are:


1. Get a new job, yes it is not my own business just yet but I really need change from what I am doing now. I need to focus on getting something I will at least enjoy however to get me by until I get my own business within the future.


2. Lose weight, something in which I keep saying over and over but never seem to do. My target is to lose at least 2 stone by the end of this year.


3. Gain knowledge, whether this be through volunteering or just reading, I need to apply myself and get out there more to experience things in which could help me within the future.


4. Enjoy life! I know this sounds like a funny one but having fun and not worrying is a big one for me. I need to take a step back sometimes and not be so anxious and panicky when it comes to life in general. I need to start living not threating.

 

Life is one big challenge in which we all face. There are times in our lives where we aren’t always where we want to be but it is down to us to do something about it. Change is something in which is possible if we just go out and search for it. Change will not come to you and this is something in which I am slowly learning. Life is an endless journey of possibilities and if we seize every moment and take hold of every opportunity then life can be an amazing one. I am not going to let myself down anymore, this is my time to seize that moment and take life by the horns.

 

B x

1 year no birth control!

It has been one year since I made the decided to come off all forms of hormonal birth control; I am so glad I made this decision.

Since coming of the Depo-Provera injection back in April 2016 I thought it was going to be an easy road to recovery in terms of getting my body back to normal again; oh how wrong was I. Unfortunately I have noticed that seeing any changes within myself and to my body is becoming a very long frustrating process but month after month I am slowly seeing that the decision to quit was the right one.

Positives I have seen since quitting birth control 


1. Sex Drive – I have to say I have never had such a thriving desire for sex as I do now. Since coming away from hormonal birth control this yearning for sexual contact with my partner is at an all time high. It feels so good to actually yearn for it and enjoy it rather than doing it because I have to. When on birth control my lack of sexual desire was at an all time low, it took away my interest in the one thing that is so natural and amazing.


2. Periods – I never thought I would say this but I am actually happy to get my period each month. It took around 6 months after coming off the Depo-Provera before I saw my first period return but ever since they have been at a regular 28-29 day cycle and lasting for around 4 days each time. They have become a lot lighter to what I use to get before going on birth control so I am happy with how they are at the moment. I have also noticed I am becoming more and more  broody with each monthly cycle that passes. Not sure if this is a natural yearning to procreate but it feels amazing wanting this desire to create a life. I hope one day in the future I will be able to make this desire a reality. Also getting in tune with my menstural cycle and the amazing feel of knowing that my body is becoming more natural.


3. Emotions – To have actual emotions back is an amazing feeling. I felt as though birth control took away my natural instinct to feel emotions. I was very anxious and depressed whilst on birth control and never really knew how to control myself emotionally. Over the past few months I am slowly beginning to feel myself again, sometimes I get anxious but it’s a natural anxiety not a anxiety fuelled by contraception.

 

Negatives I have seen since quitting birth control 


1.Weight – When I was on hormonal birth I gained 5 stone in weight. Going from a size 6-8 to a size 16-18. It has really knocked my confidence putting on so much and lately has really got me down as I am struggling to lose the lbs. Since coming of the injection I have only lost around 7lbs. I am finding it very hard to curb my cravings and getting my eating habits under control. When I start doing well there always seems to be something that comes along making the tempetation all to hard and I give in. My willpower is something in which I really need to work on. Slowly I am dropping weight but it has become such a slow process that I am very frustrated in deed with it.


2. PMS – Having my periods back has been an amazing thing, having the PMS that comes along with the periods hasn’t been so amazing. With each month that passes I have noticed more and more my PMS making a come back. Around a week before my period is due the headaches are slowly returning. Also having cramps and period pains is becoming a regular occurance. My moods do change around the time of my period but I am slowly becoming more away of this and learning how to deal with these situations.


3. Pain – Most of the pain in which I get is down to my size. I have tiny legs and all this weight on top of them that exercise is becoming a real struggle. I have tried all sorts to get fit, clubbercise, gym even a bit of swimming just before I quit the injection but nothing has seemed to help. The pain in which I get in my knees and breathlessness also puts me off exercising. I know this is something is which I need to push through, as they say no pain no gain but sometimes the pain is so unbarable its hard to deal with. Next week I start a new form of exercise that is becoming more and more popular, trompine fitness. As trampoline fitness has been shown to have less impact on the joints but be as good as a running session I am hoping this will get some of my weight off and then make it more easier for me to try other forms of exercising. I have also invested in a pair of walking boots so I can get out and about a bit more within nature.

 

Overall the decision to come away from birth control as a whole was totally the right one for me. I haven’t felt so good in years and yes the process in some aspects of it are slow and frustrating but they are also amazing because I am becoming more at one with myself and my body. Since coming off the Depo I have invested in a Daysy fertility monitor and also tracking my cycle naturally. At first it was tricky getting into the swing of things and knowing when I am and not fertile but now I wouldn’t have it any other way. Yes there is a risk of becoming pregnant that risk is there with contraception. I want to become a more healthy individual from the inside out and that includes birth control methods. The daysy is so simple to use and is 99.3% scientifically proven method of birth control so the choice is an easy one to make.

 

I would urge all females out there to step away from hormobal birth control; there are better and more safer methods out there, more natural methods. We live in a society that encourages us to keep fit and eat healthy, a society that encourages and promotes a healthy lifestyle, why not be more healthy with birth control. Be more at one with your cycle, learn how your body works and what your body wants from you naturally. Learn to love and feel amazing again. Most of all, learn to be the true you again.

 

B x

 

500 Mile Walking Challenge!

This year my plan was to become a lot fitter and a lot healthier. After gaining a lot of weight over the past two years due to lifestyle changes and the contraceptive injection I gradually also became very unfit and very unhealthy. I have tried various diets to lose weight, slimming world and weight watchers but nothing seemed to help; the doctor even put me on Orlistat tablets to see if it was my diet that was the actual cause of my weight gain. Instead of losing weight on the tablets like you should I actually gained another 6lbs whilst been on them. After various health checks it has recently came to the doctors attention that there is a problem with my liver in which I am currently having investigated to try and get to the root cause of the problem. In the mean time I thought what better way to get fit and get healthier whilst also seeing the beautiful British countryside so I instantly signed up for the 500 mile challenge.

 

The 500 mile challenge is something I came across in the April issue of country walking magazine. I have never read this magazine before but for some reason was drawn to it in the local supermarket whilst doing the weekly shop. Walking and hiking is something in which I have always wanted to get into but never really got round to doing. After flicking through the first couple of pages of the magazine I came across the challenge, I read through the information of what it is all about and a story of a lady who completed the challenge last year and how it had a huge impact on her life; after losing 4 stone and dropping 3 dress sizes she stated that she never felt better in life and has become so much healthier within herself. Instantly I thought I could do that, I know it is going to be a gradual process and that walking long distance at first is not going to be easy but I am feeling so positive about this challenge. I also feel that having the challenge and the 500 miles to aim for will make my transition towards a healthier lifestyle so much more easier, having something to focus on and achieve at the end of it will make it so worth it.

 

Not only do I want to aim to walking 500 mile this year, I am to lose at least 2 stone in weight and finally get my health issues under control once and for all. This is to a new me and a new way of life. If you are interested yourself in joining the 500 mile challenge you can find information on how to do so in the country walking magazine. Not only will you get fit and healthy through walking but if you download a printable mile tracker from their website using the unique code from the magazine you will be entered in regular competitions to win some awesome walking gear. So what are you waiting for, come and join this challenge with me and let us share this journey together.

 

B x

Quote of the week!

So we get this leaflet through the door the other day so it made me think. Obviously I don’t believe in God but if there was a God who supposedly created this earth and so loves this world; why the hell would he do this to it…..

Think I’ll stick to trying to follow a Pagan path!

Sex obsessed after ditching birth control!

Almost 1 year ago, I made the decision to completely rid hormonal birth control from my life. The result; I am now sex obsessed!

Hormonal birth control was a part of my life for around 9 years. After suffering the worst PMS and agonising long heavy periods each month the doctor decided the best move for me was to pill pop, by pill pop I mean take the birth control pill back to back so I didn’t even have a withdraw bleed. 7 years of having to constantly remember to take them day in day out became even more tedious so was then moved up to the more grown up stuff; the Depo provera shot. Not only did this 3-monthly injection make me pile on tonnes of weight and have health concern after health concern it also zapped away my libido.  Sex was definitely off limits during this time, even the thought of a penis made me want to vomit. Now I realise how the contraceptive injection stops pregnancy, it literally puts women off sex.

After months of deliberation I finally made the decision to go natural. Pumping my body full of synthetic hormones wasn’t doing me any good, it was time to quit. The one thing in which I have noticed since coming off the injection apart from the return of my PMS and periods is my sex drive. Oh boy, never before in my life has my libido been so high. At the moment, I crave sex on a daily basis. It is like my mind is constantly in some kind of pornography mode where images pulsate through my mind like it is stuck in repeat.

I do not know whether this is a passing phase or what it is. I am not sure whether it is a good thing or not. It is like I crave such wild and wonderful things my mind cannot drop them until maybe I have fulfilled them. Masturbation is even something in which I have been doing a lot more of recently, I never explored down there myself previously, masturbation was something in which I found boring and mundane. Now it is like I love exploring myself and figuring out all the right buttons to press.

My poor better half, I do not think he knows how to take this side of me at the moment. I feel he thinks that’s all I want him for right now, but it isn’t. Growing up I always thought men wanted sex crazed women who would satisfy them multiple times daily, so now I feel confused sometimes when a man is telling you that sex is all I seem to think about.

Now I have this new lease of life for sex it is something in which I want to explore even further into with my partner. Tantric sex, outdoor sex, role play and karma sutra are all things I want to master. I am learning that to have a fiery appetite for sex is better than no appetite at all. We are all sexual beings who yearn for something deep within ourselves, it is whether or not you have the courage to seek the desires in which raid your mind.

My advice to all women out there, ditch hormonal birth control. If you are suffering from health concerns or lack of sex drive and on contraception that is your problem. Hormonal birth control doesn’t help with your problems it masks them, if not makes them worse. If you want to feel desire again sexually take my advice and quit birth control. You will thank me for it.

B x

Anxiety! The daily battle of trials and tribulations.

For most of my teenage, actually I will rephrase that; for all of my teenage years I suffered mentally. There wasn’t a day go by where I wouldn’t be fighting some sort of demon within myself. The constant paranoia and worry and half of the time not even knowing what on earth I was worrying about.

I suffered greatly after the passing of someone very close to me. I felt as though a part of me died alongside them; to think I would never be able to see them or speak to them again at the time I’d wished I had died with them. Throughout those years, I always wondered what I had done wrong in life to deserve this burden in my head constantly. Wondering if I were normal and if other people went through the thoughts and feelings in which I was going through. I didn’t want to face the world let alone my parents. They were ashamed of me, I just knew it. There was a time I remember them pinning me to the sofa and cutting my nails short because they feared me even self-harming myself by scratching. I look back on those days now and feel so ashamed for the things I put them through and the worry in which I must have caused them.

I have moved away twice from home over the past 8 years. I have also moved back twice. You never really truly appreciate home until you need it the most. I am so glad I have parents who always have an open door ready for my return when shit hits the fan in my life. 26 years old and still living with the parents, not where every adult wants to be in their life; but hey what can you do, with no proper career prospects throughout my adult life so far and two failed relationships under my belt I guess settling in back at home has been my option.

My previous relationships didn’t bode with my anxiety. Talk about rubbish choice in men, at the time obviously, I was devastated with breaking up and all that jazz but looking back now I am so glad those relationships failed. When someone feels the need to put you down about yourself constantly there is something wrong. For a man to not want to have sex with their partner there is something wrong, for two years I was with someone who didn’t want to touch me. Someone who thought sex was some sort of sin that he didn’t want to conspire in. Now I am not surprised that I was so anxious throughout all of those years. One ex even use to shut me out when I cried, crying is a form of weakness apparently.

My life changed when I decided to change for myself and not for other people. Life is about enjoyment and fulfilment on this Planet whilst we have the chance to do so. I decided that I was going to take control of my anxiety and stop it from controlling me. Acupuncture was such a life saver for me and I can truly put my hand on my heart and swear that it did wonders for me. I am still anxious at times but isn’t everyone? No more do I have daily panic attacks or worry attacks for no reason. I am becoming so much more confident within myself to be myself.

Never let anyone tell you that your mental illness is a form of weakness. Throughout my life, I have been made to feel ashamed for having anxiety and depression. To be shunned and excluded for being different or not fitting in because socially you do not know how to act. Do not let these people do this to you. Be proud to talk about your mental illness, share your stories with others because you never know they may be feeling exactly the same as you have once been but just do not know how to talk about it or tell anyone.

I have reduced my anxiety levels by 85% compared to my past self. There are options out there just be brave enough to know it’s ok to ask for help. Do not be ashamed of who you are. Life is about choices only you can make a difference for yourself. Make that first step to a clearer more focused mind.

B x